8 Questions for TONY BENCINA

 The Atlanta businessman, father and philanthropist discusses how a childhood tragedy led him later to provide emotional and financial support for kids in the same situation..

Atlanta resident Tony Bencina, a managing director in Truist Securities’ real estate investment banking group, is deeply involved with Kate’s Club, an organization serving as a community for children, teens, their families and young adults who have experienced the death of someone close to them. Working as a volunteer since 2016 and a member of the Board of Directors since 2023, Bencina got involved not only as a result of his mother setting an example for giving back to those less fortunate, but also because she passed away from cancer when he was just 15-years old.

“I know firsthand the grip that can have on a child,” says Bencina.

Bencina lives in south Buckhead with his two, school-aged boys and his wife Jessica Bencina, whom he says is “supportive beyond words.” He plays golf and runs for exercise. Bencina has a bachelor’s degree from the University of Alabama at Birmingham and an MBA from Olin Business School at Washington University in St. Louis.

SocialAtlanta writer Nicole Letts sat down Bencina to discuss how his own childhood tragedy shaped his current compassion.

 

How did you first get involved in Kate’s club, and what drew you to the organization?

Kate’s Club is an organization that helps kids deal with the grief of a close loved one. Grief is the great equalizer. My mom died of cancer when I was 15. I remember feeling alone and like a statistic. I didn’t know anyone else who had lost a parent.

At Kate’s Club, we have a semi-annual camp called Camp Good Mourning which was held at the end of August. Kids come from all over the city with different backgrounds and circumstances, and they get to camp and none of it matters. Nobody cares where you go to school, if you’re a member of a country club, or what shoes or clothes you’re wearing. The kids don’t care. They know they’re all there for the same purpose, and they’ve all lost somebody. There’s this immediate bonding and understanding.

 

How does Kate’s Club help kids through their grief?

I am just now starting to understand the impact my mom’s death had on me, and how it has also taken on different forms through these milestone events. It’s important that the kids know they’re not alone; there are people there who understand and have been through it.

I didn’t have that. It wasn’t until college that I finally knew people who had lost a parent, but even then, it was the exception, not the norm. Kate’s Club gives them a place to feel normal. You don’t feel like a statistic; you don’t feel like an outsider. You don’t feel like you’re the exception. You’re surrounded by people who understand and have been there. It’s a very welcoming environment, and it’s an amazing organization.

 

What is your role there?

I started volunteering in 2016, and I’ve been a volunteer for a long time. I was asked to join an advisory board, and last January, I joined the board. However, I still consider myself a volunteer, and I do the camps once a year because that’s very important to me. There’s one in the spring and one in late summer.

 

How do you open those tough conversations when you’re volunteering?

I try to tell them my story, without making it about me. I usually explain that I’m an adult, but my mom died when I was a kid, and I went through it, and it was hard. I understand all these things. I experienced it. Here’s how I’ve dealt with it.

My wife and I have two little boys, and this time I think I had seven or so kids whose dads had died. Their dads look like me. They’re in their 40s; they’re healthy. So I’ve taken on this role where I can give a dad hug or throw a football even if it’s for just for a weekend. When you see a kid crying with grief, it’s different than when they’re crying because they hurt themselves. It just takes the air out of your lungs. You can’t breathe, and you just want to be there for them and say, “I’m here for a weekend. I got you.”

 

In addition to Kate’s Club, you also started a scholarship foundation at UAB.

Yes. College was extremely important to my mom, and it was one of the three things she made me promise her before she died. In 2017, we established an endowed scholarship in my mother’s name intended to be a scholarship for a student who had lost a parent before they graduated high school, or for a single parent trying to finish their degree.

My mom and my dad got divorced when I was very young, and my mom had dropped out of college. She did not have financial resources at all, but she was a giving person, and she made sure to find ways to give back. I remember we’d get a kid from the Salvation Army Christmas angel tree. Every year. My mom didn’t have money to do that, but she saved up for it, and she would take us to shop. That’s a tradition I’ve continued with my family; I’ve been doing it on my own since after grad school. Everything is to honor my mom and try to help others.

 

What do you like to do when you’re not spending time with your family or with the kids at Kate’s Club?

I love outdoor stuff, and snowboarding is my favorite thing to do. I used to be a triathlete, but I still enjoy running, especially in new cities because it’s a great way to learn a place. New York and DC are great running cities.

Atlanta is a tough city to run in. It is hilly! But, Atlanta can give you a cool mix because you can run through Midtown, hit Piedmont Park, and then go to the Beltline for that urban scene. For shorter runs, I like Bobby Jones Golf Course in Buckhead.

I’m a member of a golf club called In Town Golf Club, an indoor golf club in Buckhead. I also get to play golf a lot for work, so recently I’ve played in Charlotte and Dallas.

 

What do you tell people about Atlanta that are not from here? What’s your favorite thing about it?

For people who like to travel, you can get anywhere from Atlanta. It’s awesome for that. We also have a ton of diversity and growth and cool things that are happening because of that. One of the places we love to take our kids to is the Works. The kids will play outside, and we’ll have a good time. You meet other families there, and it’s a lot of fun. Right now with young boys, it’s all about having places where we can have our kids but still feel like adults. For that reason, we also love the festival circuit, like the Oakhurst Porchfest and the Kirkwood Wine Stroll.